So I'm in a bad place with worse people

I'm not concerned with the fact that I'm the only person who still does.

I don't know how to start.
Maybe with that I'm uncomfortable.
With many things.
For one. That I can't hold trust in this source. It has a leak.
A large one.
And you take full advantage of it.
I guess that's my fault.
Regardless. It bugs me.
But half is never understood any way.

I could start writing in Spanish.

Quiero mas.
Si.
Mas que esto.
Nah.
But it's true.

I can't get over knowing that.
I'm not happy about it.
Ignore it like usual, but it gets to me.
Hard for you, you say.
It's my worst nightmare.

I feel like I have to write in some secret language you don't understand.

Hypothetical situation.
I'm gonna wake up one morning, and you'll be gone.
Forever.
I'm not willing to compromise like that.
That's not a compromise.
That's nothing.
And this is nothing if this will turn into that.
So please.
Tell me what to do.
Tell me I'm just another reason.
Just another one.
I know I can handle it.
I have before.
I will again.
Tell me that this is all you care about. Ever and ever.
Change of mind versus change of heart
I'm scared to think this is a change of heart.
Just be honest. Don't lie to me.
Now or later.
Not now and later.
Or in the end.
It has to happen any way, why make it happen more than it has to.
If you get it done now, sure, it'll be painless.
But it will also have no meaning.
No concern.
No care.
No love.
Nada.
On my behalf.

"I waved goodbye to a place where everybody knew my name
Left my blue-eyed girl
Starring out the window in the rain
Told her when I met her that I had to hit the road
Now I wish I never met her cuz I cannot let her go
Hearts break, but that’s alright with me"
Feelings I can't shake since you're leaving me

"I wanna turn us all around
Now
Take a step down
How can we all get along,
When we’re so violent and young?"

Violent and Young by Iglu & Hartly